That Dudes Way Too Old To Be Batman

For as long as I can remember, I've been obsessed with Batman.  Sometime soon I'm gonna make a blog post about exactly WHY, but for now just accept that I know wayyyyyyyyyy more about Batman than you probably do.  Like an odd, borderline creepy amount.  I attempt to hide this massive layer of nerd in my body behind many other layers of charming douchebaggery.  So with that out of the way, let me begin.

Some of you may have heard that Man Of Steel 2 is going to have Batman in it.  It's coming out in Summer 2015.  And when I first heard this news, I literally almost shit myself.  On my bucket list of things I have to see before I die, a Batman/Superman movie is right near the top.  So you can imagine how excited I am about this.  But then I started to hear who they're thinking about casting to play Bruce Wayne/Batman, and now I'm a little nervous.  I'm going to list the top contenders being considered here, and then post who I think should play the part.

Disclaimer: You're about to see some dude pics.  Ladies, don't get too wet.  Guys, be comfortable in your sexuality.  Oh, and if you're thinking: "this is some straight up nerdy garbage" then fuck you.  They can't all be about club shit.

1. Josh Brolin

I mean this dudes just way too old.  Granted, in this movie Batman is apparently going to be well into his career; somewhere in his mid to late 30's.  But lets not forget they plan to make a Justice League movie after this, and this dude isn't getting any younger.  Imagine him making out with the 22 year old model they'll likely cast as Wonder Woman.  Just...creepy.  This guy played George Bush in a movie.

VOTE: Eh....no.

2. Ryan Gosling

This I could accept if I had to.  But there's still the femmy factor.  By that I mean he's just a tad too...dainty.  I think he could turn up the badassness if he had to, but his body of work so far leans a bit toward pussy territory.  Dude was in The Notebook.  Might be a cool way to give your girlfriend unrealistic expectations of men, but not my idea of a great time at the movies.  But he was also in Drive.  And Crazy Stupid Love.  I like that movie.  JUDGE ME BRO.

VOTE: ......possibly

3. Joe Manganiello

This dude would be a solid choice.  He doesn't look too old, but he also doesn't look that young.  If they want to push the older Batman thing, then this would be a good pick.  Plus he was in Magic Mike, so that whole wet vagina factor will bring the ladies in.

VOTE: I suppose

MY PICK

If this whole thing were totally up to me, and I didn't have to pick from what was being considered, I'd go with this dude:

LIAM HEMSWORTH

Dude's brother already plays Thor, so there's obviously superhero blood in the family.  He's a decent enough actor to pull it off, young enough to not have a cane in Justice League, and he's got a good mouth for the mask.  Sounds weird, but that's a key component.  I always thought Christian Bale's face looked weird as fuck in the mask.  Look back at the Nolan Batman movies and you'll see what I mean.  Hemsworth baby.  Hemsworth.